


Backseat Driver

by JayKay (McKay)



Category: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Genre: Gen, Humor, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-27 21:55:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10817529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McKay/pseuds/JayKay
Summary: Obi-Wan is annoyed by Qui-Gon's attempts to be "helpful."





	Backseat Driver

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 1999.
> 
> To explain this random bit of silliness... 
> 
> This little scene popped into my head thanks to a discussion on a Star Wars mailing list I was on a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away regarding The Look Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon exchange in the bongo when the vessel loses power. Qui-Gon appears to be thinking, "Hey, kid, you're the driver. You figure it out." The whole idea of the Jedi Master being a backseat driver unfurled in my head, and this is the result. 
> 
> Yet lest anyone think I'm the only one who comes up with stuff like this, book 5 in the Jedi Apprentice series contained a frighteningly similar scene in which Qui-Gon chides Obi-Wan about his driving, and Obi-Wan gets a little flare of irritation in response.

Qui-Gon: "Mind the asteroids." 

Obi-Wan: "Master, I've got my pilot's license. I know what I'm doing." 

Qui-Gon: "Of course you do, young padawan. I merely thought you'd want to heed the advice of one who has flown many times before." 

Obi-Wan: (petulantly) "I'm not a kid! I can handle this myself!" 

Qui-Gon: "Just stay mindful of the view screen, or we're going to end up splattered on that comet over there. And slow down, for heaven's sake. We're not in that big a hurry. Do you have to go so fast?" 

Obi-Wan: "My speed is well within safe parameters for a vessel of this type. It's not MY fault you pilot like an old lady. Next thing you know, you'll be telling me going through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops." 

Qui-Gon: "Well, it ISN'T. Watch the view screen! Don't you see that shuttle over there?" 

Obi-Wan: "It's light years away! Look, couldn't you go find something else to do other than sit there and tell me how to steer? I mean, make yourself useful and check the nav read-out. I need to know when to drop out of light speed." 

Qui-Gon: (peering at nav screen) "Um...When the blue light intersects the green light?" 

Obi-Wan: (rolling eyes) "Oh, you're a BIG help. And it's upside down, anyway. How'd you manage to do that?" 

Qui-Gon: "Well, if you're going to be THAT way about it, I won't help at all." 

Obi-Wan: "Fine." 

Qui-Gon: "Fine." 

Obi-Wan: "Good." 

Qui-Gon: "Good." 

(lengthy pause) 

Qui-Gon: "Have you seen my Slim Jims anywhere?" 

Obi-Wan: (whistles innocently and concentrates very hard on the view screen.)   



End file.
